The Christmas the Grinch Didn’t Steal
In early December, Eddie, one of my favorite doormen, was fussing in our lobby with large boxes of red and gold Christmas ornaments. I could see from his furrowed brow that he was devising a game plan on how to make our building’s communal tree look special this year. Jokingly, I asked if he had already put up his own tree up at home. Eddie flashed a Hollywood smile and replied “Yes, my four-year-old son Arin insisted on it.” He then explained the day after Thanksgiving his son had discovered some holiday lights in a closet and asked if the family could get a tree that Friday. “Given these days when everyone is confined at home and deprived of so much of their normal life, I didn’t have the heart to deny his wish.”
Indeed, this 2020 holiday will be one to remember. To make it through this season we know we need to recalibrate our lives. It just takes some creativity, flexibility, and willingness to forgo traditional approaches. After all, there are multiple ways to navigate the holidays, the topic of today’s post.
Getting a jumpstart on the holidays
The season started earlier than normal this year. Even before the Thanksgiving leftovers were consumed, Americans were grabbing their Christmas tree—and sometimes two of them!—and carting them home. With so many schools closed and most people working remotely, getting a jumpstart on the holidays was a good use of our extra free time.
Christmas has always been my thing. But normally, serious holiday planning doesn’t kick in until the second week of December. But this year, like Eddie’s son Arin, I felt the need for Thanksgiving to roll seamlessly into Christmas. By chance, in late November I found myself across from Rockefeller Center the day the forklift put up the enormous spruce tree. It was almost as if someone had switched on a light inside my head. The department stores had not even completed their holiday windows but, suddenly the siren of “Let’s get going, Marsha” was calling to me. Christmas 2020 had officially begun.
Then what are the plans for this year and how do they different from other Christmases? For starters in my case, I made the executive decision not to worry about gifts. Given I am not an online shopper and wanted to avoid going into stores, I felt this was the rational thing to do. So, I sent out an email missive reminding my family that the school aged children would still receive their normal education fund contribution but that would be it. While it did seem redolent of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” I explained in earnest my need to streamline things this year to be safe.
Rationalizing being Scrooge
To make my message appear less severe, I told the family a contribution was being made in their names to a charity. NYT’s columnist Nick Kristof’s had written about his 2020 Holiday Impact Prize which showcased three charities. The one with the most personal appeal helped educate young girls in Africa, something I hoped would also resonant with the family.
Between us, making that grand gesture made me feel Scroogie (if there is such a word!) and slightly self-righteous. Yes, it was a good example for the kids of giving back. But, in hindsight, it also felt a bit haughty. Yet I held firm to my convictions.
Then, the responses from the family starting coming in. Whoa, Marsha. Everyone agreed that helping those less fortunate than us was the right thing to do to. But then I heard responses such as, “Well, the kids understand there won’t be any gifts from Aunt Marsha this year, but we hope you’ll still send your famous animal cookies.” Then one of my husband’s adult granddaughters said she was sending me a homemade gift anyway even if there were no gift exchange this year.
My guilt mounted quickly. It wasn’t the kids’ fault that we in the midst of this surreal mess. Then I remembered that I had been buying gifts throughout the year and storing them in an armoire. Why not just raid that resource? I could stay safe and do all my holiday shopping right in my own bedroom boutique.
Santa’s workshop
All the gift items were pulled out of the armoire and displayed on the bed. With pen and post-its in hand, I started deciding what should go to whom. Before long, everyone had something nice to put under their tree. After all, why should the pandemic deprive us of the sheer joy of anticipating a gift from a loved-one?
It’s just a matter of “pivoting,” I reconciled. It is how everyone is managing some level of normalcy this year of change. Take the lighting of the tree at Rockefeller Center, for example. The City found a way to continue the tradition this year but following new safety rules. Incidentally, did you know that this tradition began in 1931 during the Depression-era? How ironic! Back then it was a mere 20-foot tall tree simply decorated with strands of cranberries, paper garlands, and tin cans. By contrast, 2020’s tree is a 11-ton Norway spruce, which stands 75 feet tall.
When the Rockefeller Center’s Christmas tree’s 50,000 LED lights were lit for the first time this week, no spectators were allowed. However, the following day, people were permitted to stay in pods of no more than 4 people, socially distanced, for a limit of five minutes. A virtual queue system was set up whereby visitors could scan a QR code using their smart phones to get a time slot to view the tree, a smart measure for managing visitor flow and safety.
Hauling a Christmas tree across state lines
Traditions are important to maintain especially this year where little is normal. Next week my tree arrives. It will be transported across state lines from a tree farm in Pennsylvania by my good friends, the Kennerleys, who started this tradition four years ago. It is a much-anticipated gift as not only do they cut the tree down, but they also put it in my tree stand AND string the lights. Who could ask for a better gift? They will be rewarded with mugs of spicy beef chili served on my terrace. (See the recipe in this week’s “Dessert” section.)
While my tree will not have quite as many LED lights as Rock Center’s, it will be gloriously decorated with a collection of antique ornaments handed down from my mother’s family. I relish my tree each year as it is also adorned with fruit and vegetable decorations gathered over the years. It is like enjoying the company of old friends for three weeks before having to reluctantly pack them away again January 1st.
Covid-19 Holiday trends
Annual holiday trends always bring something new. This year people are going wild for modern versions of board games, decks of cards and puzzles. The why is obvious. A good way to spend time either alone or with your loved ones hunkered down at home. Americans are also shopping for sustainable, eco-friendly gifts, making green this year’s most popular color. Thanks to Etsy and Pinterest and all their boundless creative ideas, DIY projects are trending too.
Nostalgia and hominess are big themes in gift-giving making handmade items such as candy, candles, and soaps big hits. Also popular are knitted and crochets items such as hats, scarves and easy-to-make fingerless gloves. Remember when your grandmother used to make these type gifts for you in those days before technology? Well, they are back but now it’s you who is doing the knitting.
Advent calendars are no longer just for kids
Another popular activity for the kids, as well as adults, is creating your own Advent calendar. Decorating toilet paper and paper towel rolls filled with tiny treats for your kids—or your favorite pet—harks back to the simple pleasures of yore. For the sophisticated adult, you can even create a wine lovers’ advent calendar.
Another homey activity great for keeping the kids occupied is baking holiday cookies. If you decide to take up this task, be prepared for a hunt. Much to my surprise, the Container Store was already out of cookie cannisters last week. My trip to Whole Foods was equally unsuccessful. Not one bag of sugar to be had. Clearly, people are starting their holiday activities early this year.
Prepping for Marsha’s menagerie
After a false start, I finally amassed the necessary supplies for my cookie baking project. Normally, I make savory cookies for the adults plus sugar cookies in the shape of animals for the kids. I call these Marsha’s menagerie. Kids of all ages love them especially the pink pigs with white curly cue tails.
This year, however, I plan to add to my holiday repertoire cookies from around the world so that one of my nieces who home schools her children can use them as a geography lesson. Why not? Even if we can’t travel now, at least we can eat cookies from Morocco, Belgium and Germany! Bourbon balls representing America will be reserved for the parents in recognition of their resilience over the past ten months.
The return of the old-fashioned greeting card
In our increasingly automated world, people are also returning to traditional greeting cards. E-cards just won’t cut it in 2020. In the end, real cards are an easy way to show people we care and a great use of our extra time. Understanding how cool retro is this season, I’ve commissioned Deborah Mintcheff—a friend who’s started a calligraphy business called Pen&Ink—to produce cards for me. She’s even created a reindeer with my name inside the animal’s flank à la Al Hirschfeld who used to subtly integrate his daughter’s name, Nina, within his designs. I love the idea of not just sending cards but also small works of art to my family and friends. I plan to frame the card I am sending to myself as I need to have my own stag, right?
Technology to the rescue
Because we are not supposed to gather in large groups, virtual events are more popular than ever. Virtual scavenger hunts and holiday cocktail parties are big this year. Group cookie making parties are now virtual cookie swaps unless you swear you will socially distance and wear masks inside someone’s large kitchen. Luckily, we have technology to fall back on to help us keep connected with our loved ones this season.
And who would have ever thought that wearing a mask during the holiday season would have a benefit other than providing safety? Robin Hilary, RN—who performs miracles on my face (without a scalpel)—told me people are getting face and neck lifts at a wild pace. Unlike before when you needed to sequester for several weeks after surgery, now all the bruising is covered with a mask. Add that to your Santa’s wish list!
The physiological benefits of starting the holiday season early
And what does all of this mean to our personal mental health? Experts at UT Health tell us that decorating early can have many psychological benefits. Its most obvious advantage is that it helps relieve the monotony of our stay-at-home lives. Doctors are telling us, too, that getting into the holiday spirit can add a sense of healing. It helps us reclaim our personal identity lost due to the lack of human interaction during the pandemic crisis. Additionally, it helps us recall comforting memories of our past which counteracts feelings of grief and loss.
Not everyone has been bitten by the holiday bug like me, however. Jasmine, my favorite teller at TD Bank told me she was feeling ambivalent. “I want to get started with buying presents for my family and decorating the house, but I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone and can’t figure out what to do first.” When I explained to her some of the pluses of early decorating, her eyes lit up. Hopefully, our conversation will be the impetus needed to kickstart her holiday planning.
If the holiday fever has started earlier for you than normal, just remember that by starting now you can soak up those positive vibes for a few extra weeks. Whatever psychological benefits are available to us through an early holiday start, why not take advantage of them. Remember, Christmas and Hanukkah are not just for little kids. It is important for big kids too.