Cultivating Laughter and a Sense of Humor (Part I)
I grew up in a home where no one knew what a chortle was. While my parents took good care of my sister and me, there was not a great deal of laugher woven into our upbringing. Later, I realized this was one of the few shortcomings of my youth. However, by college age, I also figured out that laughter was a skill which an individual could cultivate if one possessed self-awareness, focus and a willingness to experiment. Learning to laugh and developing a sense of humor became essential in my approach to life as I matured.
Are humor and laughter interchangeable?
But what are the differences between humor and laughter, two words which while not synonymous are closely interconnected. Turning to Webster’s Dictionary “humor is a mental faculty, the ability to discover, perceive, effectively express, or appreciate the ludicrous, the comical, or the absurdly incongruous. Laughter is a sound; the expression of mirth, joy, or scorn through a chuckle or explosive noise.”
Let’s tackle laughter first, the topic of this week’s post. Next week, we’ll discuss humor and then connect the dots between the two.
Laughter is inborn in humans. Infants begin smiling during the first weeks of life and then laugh out loud within months. If you study children and examine their playfulness, you will notice that they laugh a great deal, often over the most insignificant things. As they grow older and realize that life is not a game, their laughter becomes less frequent and less spontaneous. As adults, we can relearn the ability to laugh more easily. And it makes sense to do so as the benefits are enormous.
The health benefits of laughter
First of all, laughter is good for your health. After all who has not heard the adage, “Laughter is the best medicine?” My informal research shows that laughter relaxes the body; boosts your immune system; triggers the release of your body’s natural feel-good chemicals, endorphins; and protects your heart by increasing the blood flow around this vital organ. A study in Norway showed that people who have a strong sense of humor and laugh easily outlive people who don’t laugh as much.
Are you in? Of course, you are. But there’s even more to consider.
Laughter helps you stay mentally healthy
Drilling down, we learn that laughter also has mental health advantages such as lowering stress; easing anxiety and tension; improving your mood; and adding more joy to your life. Consider the reality that when we laugh, we can’t feel anxious, angry or sad at the same time. This aspect is particularly beneficial as we confront the current pandemic’s feeling of anxiety. During periods of tragedy and isolation laughter works as a coping mechanism by providing a positive mindset, optimism, and feeling of hope.
Laughter improves social interactions
The social benefits of laughter are critical as well. Just think about how an awkward situation can be defused by joking about it. No one can argue either with the power of laughter when used to resolve conflicts. It helps reduce anger by allowing others to move past the confrontational aspect of the encounter. In the workplace, using laughter with colleagues is a basic tool for strengthening relationships and building teamwork.
Tips for adding laughter to your life
How do you bring more laughter into your life? Beyond the obvious things such as playing with your pet or a young child or watching a funny movie, integrating laughter into your world is relatively easy. Start by spending more time with people who are fun and playful. Avoid those individuals who are excessively serious. Instead, seek out friends who don’t take themselves too seriously. People who like to laugh and who are willing to laugh at life’s absurdities, as well as at themselves, should be magnets for developing friendships.
Laughing at life’s absurdities
My close friend, Kathy Kennerely has a younger sister, Terry Ann, who has a wicked sense of humor. “Whenever we get together, all Terry Ann needs to do is to make a few wisecracks about something silly and the two of us are rolling on the floor laughing. We can’t help ourselves.” I’ve spent some time with Terry Ann and was struck by her playful nature, quick wit and ability to laugh at life’s mundane absurdities. She raised her son to react similarly, an excellent example of nature vs nurture. Now Kate’s nephew Matthew Lamson has combined his years of being exposed to an abundance of gleeful laughter at home with his own sense of humor to launch a successful career at Second City, Chicago’s fabled improvisational comedy theatre.
Learning to laugh at yourself
Ellen Negrin, a wine industry executive known for her warm, engaging personality, weighed in on the topic. While Ellen doesn’t consider herself a funny person, she appreciates laughter’s intrinsic value. “What I do have is the ability to laugh at myself. We’re all a little imperfect, so why not laugh about it. I believe it’s better to not take yourself too seriously and to look at the funny side in negative events. I always said happiness (and laughing) is a skill. We have a choice. This has certainly helped me handle whatever life sends my way.”
Lean in to laughter
Whenever you hear people laughing, move towards it. Afterall, laughing is contagious. Ask the simple question, “What’s so funny?” Rarely will anyone not share with you the source of their amusement. The person telling the story or joke will most likely enjoy adding a new member to his/her audience, too.
Bring humor into the conversation yourself. It’s easy. Just try asking “What was the funniest thing that recently happened to you?” People like recounting something funny as it gives them the chance to laugh again about an amusing situation. Simply put, it always feels good to laugh.
Hummus to the rescue
Another tip is to recall something funny which happened specifically to you. For example, several months ago I visited Mohawk Mountain Resort with a friend, Joan Brower. When we went to the bar for a drink before dinner, we were told they couldn’t serve us unless we also ordered food. “New York State new Coronavirus safety regulations,” our server patiently explained. Then she gave us a tip. “If you ladies are staying with us for several days, just order the hummus and veggies. Keep it in the frig in your room, and simply bring it back with you the next time you join us for a cocktail. As long as we see you have food, we can serve you.”
Well, that take-out container of hummus traveled with us the entire weekend. It was like a tag-along little sister. Joan and I would hand off the package as one of us fumbled for the door key or searched for our credit card. “Don’t forget the hummus and your face mask,” we would remind each other each time we left our suite. By the time we checked out on day three, the hummus looked pretty sad. When we finally tossed it out, we said farewell to it as if we were leaving a new friend and our constant source of mirth over the weekend. Now, whenever either of us sees hummus on a menu or in a store it ignites a reaction of laughter.
Bring out your inner child
Perhaps less obvious but an equally simple way to boost laughter is to surround yourself with reminders to lighten up. Frame pictures of yourself with friends having fun. Put a toy or something silly on your desk at work. Anything will do if it makes you smile. I sleep with a small, stuffed Labrador. Without going into the psychological aspects of a mature adult doing this, I must admit that the dog’s cold, black leather nose always brings out the child in me. I also have a collection of rubber ducks in the shower stall. My all-time favorite is a duck which resembles Freda Kahlo, replete with dark eyebrows growing together. Who could you not laugh at the ridiculousness of a duck with a unibrow?
Laughter as an exercise regime
If you like to exercise, try taking a Laughter yoga class. New to you? It was to me as well until two years ago. My traveling buddy, Jan Hazard, and I were in Vietnam on a cycling trip. On the first morning of our trip in Hanoi, we went out for a brisk walk around the Sword Lake. A young American man with a portable video camera approached us and asked, “Have you ladies seen the Laughing yoga class yet?” We had already witnessed all forms of exercise routines performed outdoors in small groups—from jazzercise classes to ballroom dancing to long lines of people slapping each other on the back—but up until that point we had not seen anything which resembled “Laughing yoga.” In fact, we thought the young American was pulling our leg.
Fifteen minutes after the videographer left us, Jan and I happened upon a group of mixed-age Vietnamese in a circle laughing hysterically. They were waving their arms, staring each other in the face, and performing all sorts of playful, childlike gestures under the direction of an instructor, all while laughing on command. What was this bizarre activity all about, we wondered?
The feel-good effects of Laughter yoga
Later we learned that Laughter yoga was developed by Dr. Madan Kataria in Indian in 1995. He discovered an important phenomenon. As our bodies cannot differentiate between real and fake laughter, the same health benefits can be achieved if you could produce laugher artificially. This revolutionary form of yoga, which combines deep breathing exercises with simulated laughter, sends oxygen to the brain making people feel healthier and more energized. Just as discussed earlier, laughter—real or forced—can improve your immune system, decrease stress, and enhance blood flow. Research also suggests that it can be a temporary distraction from pain. It is even being used now in therapy for patients with cancer and dementia.
Bookending your day with laughter
With so many positive benefits, why wouldn’t everyone crave more laughter in their life? I try to bookend my day with something which makes me giggle. Normally, I begin with reading The New Yorker’s Borowitz Report, an online selection of daily humor. It always engenders a loud chuckle. Before going to bed I often troll YouTube for late night show comedy routines. While SNL and Stephen Colbert are big hits with me, my current favorite is Trevor Noah, the host of Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show.” Noah is originally from South Africa although he now lives in the States. This gives his satirical commentary on American politics—plus his observations on the cultural quirks between the two countries—a wickedly original twist. He never fails to surprise me with his razor-sharp wit which always relaxes me before turning in.
A I laughter
Before we conclude, I want to let you in on something I discovered yesterday morning. My virtual assistant, Alexa, introduced me to a new feature. Just give her the command, “Alexa, make me laugh.” Within seconds you’ll hear a stream of joyful, melodious laughter from a toddler. If you want another dose, she’ll provide an adult’s version of a hearty belly laugh, the type a comedy skit by John Belushi might have evoked.
If you don’t have an Alexa Echo close at hand, you can achieve the same result on your own. Grab a kid or two and tickle them. It is guaranteed to produce peals of unrestrained laughter. The results are infectious. You’ll be laughing, too, before you know it, flying high on those endorphins. Free medicine for the body and soul, as they say.
Don’t forget to catch next week’s post discussing humor. I guarantee you’ll laugh until you cry. Guest contributor Anthony Giglio is coming back by popular demand.