Advantages of Solo Travel
Last week, I took a mini vacation to Paris. It had been a difficult year and I needed to relax and have some fun. However, when my traveling partner cancelled at the last minute, I was equally mad, miffed and disappointed. I was also concerned that I might be lonely. First, it was almost one year from the date of my husband’s passing and I was still emotionally shaky. Then, it was my birthday. Finally, I realized I hadn’t vacationed alone for over 40 years! But what was my choice? Feel sorry for myself or make it a trial run for future trips by myself?
SEEKING ADVICE FROM A PRO
Before I left, I asked my friend Joan Brower for some advice as she is a travel pro. As a public relations executive specializing in travel/tourism, who had traveled extensively throughout her career, I knew her recommendations would be spot on. Joan divulged that she, too, initially approached solo travel with trepidation and insecurity. “Over the years, traveling alone enabled me to build confidence in my personal aptitude, independence, and ability to adapt to new situations. What an unexpected surprise! And how proud I was to emerge eventually as a fully formed, mature and even sophisticated solo traveler.” When I heard this declaration of accomplishment, I was further encouraged to give it a try.
Here are some of the solo travel tips (in bold) Joan shared with me and how they were put into action as a blueprint for my Paris holiday.
· Identify a particular mission or personal "assignment" : To check out a special exhibition or musical performance; to buy art; to write a book; or to visit with friends. Having an objective helps jump start the trip.
Two years ago, I started this very blog based on a Paris experience. My mission this time would then be to take a trip down memory lane by revisiting the gastrotèque in Montmartre, Buvette, for brunch. This is where I hatched the idea as well as took the photo of the Tarte Tatin which decorates the blog’s home page as well as serves as its namesake.
Low and behold, the restaurant had another Tarte Tatin on the counter which I spotted immediately upon entering. “Quelle bonne chance,” I said to myself. While tempted, I bypassed a slice of the iconic French upside-down apple pie. The following day, I selected a miniature version at my favorite local pastry shop, Pain et Sucre, a mere two blocks from Centre Pompidou. I carefully carried it home where it was lavishly devoured after my birthday dinner. On my flight home, too, La Compagnie served another portion, although not half as good. A trilogy of Tarte Tatins: a serendipitous surprise and delicious subtheme for my nostalgic Parisian excursion.
· Plan the very first day and evening: An initial plan of action for the day that includes restaurant reservations gives a framework for moving forward on the trip.
Whenever we flew to Paris—where my late husband and I have a small apartment in the Marais—our first meal would always be a casual lunch at La Turenne, our corner bistro, followed by a long nap. Without fail, we would order the same thing: a fluffy, ham and cheese omelet, frites and a carafe of rosé wine. Venturing out on my own this time, I changed it up a bit by selecting an omelet made with mushrooms and a green salad. However, the two-hour nap to recharge my batteries which followed lunch remained the same. Repeating this routine somehow made me feel secure.
· Keep a journal: Jotting down where you go and where you've been is comforting.
Several of my friends religiously keep journals whenever they travel. They claim it helps them remember details from the trip which in turn, increases their enjoyment of the total experience. It is a commitment, though. Once made, I determined to turn this day-by-day account into a blog posting. So, get ready. You’ll be reading about my Paris getaway next week.
· Shop: Pick a target, such as women-owned shops. Locals as well as tourists tend to relax, chat and bond while shopping.
Over the years, I’ve started the habit of shopping for baguettes to bring back to the States. But not just any baguette. I seek out les baguettes traditions from artisanal bakers who have won the annual competition for the best French breads in Paris. Yes, a little obsessive, but it works. Over my five day visit, my shopping consisted of darting around various arrondisements picking up prize-winning examples from different boulangers, each a winner from a specific year, and each with a different story to tell. To shake it up a bit, I added a selection of breakfast pastries as well: croissants, pain aux raisins, and a kugelhopf. Each day when I got home, I would wrap each piece individually in foil and then freeze them. The morning of my return to New York everything was carefully packed in a cardboard box to make sure my shopping spree of bread made it home unscathed.
· Dress like a local: And carry a shopping bag from a local store…you'll feel like you fit in.
When in France, I always attempt to look French: dress simply, usually in a dark color, but with one, just one, stylish fashion flourish. On this trip, I bought a luxurious, multicolored, wool scarf which when wrapped around my neck made me look very Parisienne. If fact, I was mistaken several times for being a local with strangers asking me for directions. The best was when a German lady inquired where she might find a toilette. It broke my heart to have to reply, “Je suis desolée mais je ne suis pas d’ici.” In other words, I’m a tourist too!
· Take a local Day Tour: Select a new location to somewhere wonderful that you've always wanted to visit…it's a good way to meet people interested in the same topic, and sometimes you can make plans to meet up again during the trip.
Had I had more time, I would have taken an organized walking tour to a new part of Paris as exploring by foot is both fun and a great way to exercise. However, this trip I opted instead to recreate on my own version of a tour I had enjoyed several years earlier in Montmartre with a group called the Pink Vests. I meandered around the streets of this hilly section of Paris looking for iconic sites such as the white-domed Basilica of the Sacré-Cœur. But, I also made an effort to be in the present by allowing my curiosity and the lure of the unknown to guide me. On this outing, I discovered some charming sections of the quartier away from the tourists, the real Montmartre where the locals hang out.
· Take a Cooking Class: Interactive activities are a fun way to meet like-minded people.
My husband’s granddaughter, Nicole, and her financé Ben, had taken a cooking class to learn how to make macarons on a recent trip to Paris. As luck would have it, they selected La Cuisine Paris which is owned by a friend of mine, Jane Bertch. While my short stay in Paris precluded a cooking class, I promised myself the next time that I’d master making croissants at La Cuisine Paris. Check out the article on Jane’s diverse culinary program and consider adding it to your list of things to do on our next trip to Paris: https://hipparis.com/2020/01/14/my-perfect-day-in-paris-with-jane-bertch-of-la-cuisine-paris/
· Smile a lot and talk to people: A warm expression and friendly greeting draw people into a conversation which you'll both enjoy.
Luckily, I speak French which allowed me to both listen in on others’ conversations (shhhh!)as well as engage in my own chats with waiters, shop keepers, and Uber drivers. This trip I learned a lot about the recent strikes in Paris and how France, as a socialist nation, adamantly clings to its entitlement programs. During one conversation I discovered more about the country’s lucrative retirement packages—from over 40 different unions, each with a different criteria for collecting. While the average age for retirement is 62, if you are a miner or a railroad engineer, you can start taking your pension at age 52. For ballet dancers, it is even younger.
· Don't be afraid to be alone: However, avoid giving strangers too much information. Being aware of your surroundings while using caution is important for safety. Don't let your guard down anywhere, whether that's at home or abroad.
The issue of safety cannot be underestimated especially for a woman traveling alone in a foreign country. I made sure the let my concierge know each morning what my plans were for the day when we encountered each other in the stairwell or courtyard. I also sent out Instagram postings on a regular basis so my friends at home could follow my whereabouts.
Unless I were with friends, I also avoided going out alone at night preferring instead to eat at home for dinner. As my local neighborhood has many charcuteries with delicious, prepared dishes, I could select from a wide range of French specialties to enjoy in the comfort of my apartment along with a good bottle of wine.
· Have fun
Once I had developed a level of comfort being alone, having fun became effortless. I had secretly wanted to play a game by myself: What would it be like to assimilate into a typical Parisian lifestyle as a resident rather than as a tourist? Being alone, speaking French, and not looking too American, made this exercise of reimagining myself as a Parisian relatively easy to pull off. Traveling with someone else would have spoiled this experience and made it seem pretentious and downright silly.
As a “local” I selected one daily cultural outing, such as to a museum or historic monument, to start each day. Then, I organized a series of daily chores that a Parisian might do such as banking, grocery shopping, or replacing a lamp shade. I also took time to reacquaint myself on how to use the dishwasher and washing machine in my apartment. Somehow, doing these otherwise mundane household tasks in another country made them feel like an adventure. Just as Marie Antoinette did at her Hameau de la Reine farm in Versailles—where she would dress up and play farmer when she got bored with royal life—my parroting being a French woman was invigorating and daring at the same time.
REPORTING BACK TO MY TEACHER
When I returned to New York City, I checked back in with Joan. I recounted how, armed with her tips, I had managed much better than anticipated. I was also pleasantly surprised by the unexpected freedom afforded by solo travel. Vacationing alone brings with it a wide range of liberties: to not wear makeup; to eat whatever, whenever and wherever you want; to change your mind in a flash when something catches your fancy and you decide to explore it. No discussion, no compromise, no hesitation. You just follow your instincts and whims.
This serendipitous nature of single travel was remarkedly appealing. Whenever I was tired, I could head home, kick off my shoes and take a quick nap. I didn’t need to consult another person nor worry about the nagging “We-only-have-two-days-left-in-Paris” obligation to cram into every moment another museum, exhibit or specialty shop.
THE DOWNSIDE OF SOLO TRAVEL
This is not to say that there weren’t drawbacks traveling alone. What I missed most was not being able to share the special moments with someone else. On the other hand, I was able to send around my impressions of those things which surprised and delighted me via Instagram as well as read the feedback from friends who followed my daily postings.
Without a doubt, traveling solo is intensely personal. It you’re open, it facilitates a certain level of self-discovering. I found out that I was a good traveler. With careful planning each morning before setting out and learning how to maneuver Paris’ mass transit system—in addition to mastering the direction app on my iPhone—I was able to wiz around the city with relative ease. Even without a travel companion to talk to, I joked with myself on a regular basis, sometimes discreetly out loud, discussing the joys as well as the challenges of the day. As I repeatedly stepped outside of my comfort zone throughout the day, I realized that I enjoyed the challenges, too.
PERSONAL DISCOVERIES TRAVELING ALONE
What I imagined was going to be a lonely trip ended up being fun and exhilarating. Being totally self-sufficient, I discovered that patience, resilience and a good sense of humor come in handy when things go awry. It’s predictable. They will. However, being on my own, I didn’t need to apologize for them. All that was needed was finding a solution to the problem.
At the end of each day, I would write down my experiences on my iPad, then compliment myself on what a competent tour guide I’d become. Whether or not I had evolved into a “fully formed, mature and even sophisticated solo traveler” like Joan, it is too soon to tell. But, without a doubt, I am definitely tracking in that direction. Plus, I loved playing “Parisian for a week!”