Starting the New Year
Okay. The tree is on the curb waiting to be picked up. The decorations are boxed up and back downstairs in the owners’ storage area. It’s mid-January and winter sales are coming to an end. So, what’s next? What I normally do at this time of year, and maybe you do, too, is take a quick pause to reflect on the holidays. How were they in comparison to other years? After that is settled, I put on my self-help hat and consider how well I fared with last year’s resolutions.
No one Christmas is the same
Let’s start with ranking 2019’s Christmas season. I call it “Christmas” as I am a Protestant, albeit a non-believing one. Ever since I was a child, I’ve been wild about the season. My late husband, Ed, loved it too. As adults we both started noticing each year would be slightly different from the previous. However, despite these variations, our December was always centered around certain consistent elements: a live Christmas tree, heavy decorations around our home, carefully selected and wrapped gifts, and “Marsha’s menagerie” of animal-shaped sugar cookies. Our holiday dinner’s piéce de résistance has always been a Bûche de Noël, a nod to my youth growing up in France.
If I were to use the Michelin restaurant rating system (with three stars being tops) 2019 was maybe a one-and-a-half-star holiday. This low score was primarily based on my favorite Santa not being around to participate in the festivities. That aside, I also noticed that people were on edge going into the season, something which also affected the ranking. Luckily, we avoided World War III, but the buildup did little to foster the traditional spirit of relaxed, carefree celebration during the holiday season. In fact, I found a concerted effort was needed to fight against the general feeling of malaise last month.
Making it through a difficult season
But, do not worry. This post is not all doom and gloom. My friends and family did a stellar job propping me up with lots of love, attention and spirited cocktails. As for the nation’s anxiousness and deep partisan divides which colored our holiday season, I insist (perhaps naively) on remaining hopeful. Americans are resilient as a people. I for one, am confident we will weather our differences and come out as a stronger, healthier nation. But, let’s not delve into politics here. We are talking about how the 2019 holiday season stacks up against previous ones.
A holiday season with less sparkle
After spin class the other day, I asked Harvey Shapiro, a New York lawyer, his assessment of the season. We both agreed the holidays were decidedly different and overall lacked luster. Even with a strong economy, we discussed how the stores seemed to be decorated in a more restrained way: fewer lights, less extravagance, and reduced whimsy, all things we’ve come to expect at this time of year.
As Harvey pointed out, this was compounded by the demise of some of New York’s iconic retailors: Barneys, Lord & Taylor, and Bonwit Teller. Ironically, these department stores always had the most spectacular Christmas display windows in the city. Without their glitter, bright lights and unbridled creativity things just seemed less festive than in previous years.
Fellow Italian student Joan Ross also remarked early on in December that there were fewer lights, not just in the stores, but in people’s homes. “Normally, you can see all sorts of Christmas trees and balconies decorated with white or colored twinkle lights when you stroll down our canyons of tall apartment buildings. But regretfully, not this year,” Joan said sadly.
The changing face of Christmas shopping
What about the rest of the country? Another Equinox gym rat, Carl Rosoff, who had just returned from Greenville, South Carolina, told us that the city’s commercial hub was virtually empty “except for Starbucks and Lululemon.” That statement, on its own, speaks volumes about America today and its obsession with coffee and exercise. It also pointed to our preference for lifestyle experiences over traditional in-store shopping.
It’s old news that retail shops are closing because most people prefer to shop online. It’s more convenient, faster and often less expensive than brick and mortar stores. According to Anne D’Innocenzio’s AP article, the standoff between the online behemoth Amazon, who has speeded up its delivery service, plus deep discounters like TJ Maxx, has made it hard to compete for both mall-based retailers and small mom-and-pop businesses.
Let’s face it. We are all guilty of using Amazon Prime to ship out our gifts as well as return things we don’t like. The NYT’s ran a recent piece about post-holiday present returns. UPS was expecting to process 1.9 million packages just on one day, January 2nd, 2020, making it the seventh consecutive record-breaking total for that day.
The neutralization of Christmas
Besides shamelessly turning our backs on traditional retailers, what were some of the other differences from previous holiday seasons? George, an international banker who was raised Catholic, lamented the overall diminution of the spiritual side of the season. He reminded us of the obvious: Christmas started out as a religious holiday. However, in his opinion, it has been watered down over the years. “It is not even PC these days,” he commented with disdain, “to wish people in New York ‘Merry Christmas.’ The default expression, ‘Happy Holidays,’ is something I categorically refuse to use.”
It was fascinating listening to someone who I never took as being particularly religious reminisce about his youth in a rough neighborhood in Brooklyn. “We used to celebrate the birth of Jesus at this time of year, replete with nativity scenes and Christmas carols. Now, religion is basically out of the picture. Children equate the holiday as a time to get presents turning what was once was a sacred religious festival into a commercial frenzy.” In another words, a banner month for Amazon and UPS.
George recounted the story of years ago when his now-adult daughters were attending a fancy private school in Manhattan. Some of the parents complained about the Christmas tree in the school’s entrance. Their argument was that it excluded other faiths. The administration acquiesced and the tree was unceremoniously taken down. That same year, too, he continued, “During the school’s annual holiday performance, ‘Jingle Bells’ was about as religious as it got. Out of respect for those students celebrating Hanukkah and Kwanzaa—plus those children who don’t celebrate at this time of year—the holy part was taken out of Christmas.” George’s conclusion? By being inclusive, at least in Manhattan, Christmas had morphed into a non-secular event with nary a nativity scene in sight.
What ever happened to Christmas newsletters?
Another random observation. Did you notice that there were fewer holiday cards in the mail this year? Whereas last year’s intake was six inches thick (yes, I save the cards in some deranged expectation of responding to them during the year!), this past December I received only a handful. And, then, half were from professional services and cultural institutions I support.
Harvey had a plausible explanation for this year’s dearth of holiday cards. He speculated that social media was the culprit. With people being so connected through social media these days, they already know what their friends are doing. Why bother to send someone a card with an update if they’re already following your every post on Instagram throughout the year. Point well taken, Harvey. But I have to admit, I strangely missed the cards, even those with the dreaded glitter that stays with you for months.
Cookbook editor, Deborah Mintcheff, said she only sent out cards to five people. She explained in a manner of fact way that all her cards were done by hand this year using her newly acquired calligraphy skill set. “These were primarily sent to potential customers,” the new entrepreneur stated in hopeful anticipation of some new customers.
Nature’s effect on the holidays
Another unexpected difference this year centered around Christmas trees. The Kennerly’s—longtime family friends from Buck’s County— several years ago started the tradition of bringing into the city a tree from Pennsylvania as our Christmas gift. When I asked this year which tree farm they got it at, the response was shocking. “Oh, this one did not come from Pennsylvania. Many of our trees have been infested by a foreign beetle called the spotted lantern fly. This tree is from Vermont.” I couldn’t help but guess that global warming was somehow involved.
Trending: New Year’s resolutions
While this year’s tree may not have been as local as in years past, it was specular. When it was taken down, the holiday was officially over in my mind. Now it’s time to address New Year’s Resolutions. I was curious to know if other cultures follow the same tradition as we do of planning ways to improve our lives in the new year. When I asked a middle-aged, Indian lady I know if people make resolutions in her country, she replied. “When I was growing up in New Delhi, no one ever thought of doing so. But, now the young people in Indian ape American habits. These days making New Year’s resolutions are quite common.”
Both of my twin Goddaughters (age 19) make them, too, something I found reassuring. Now a sophomore at Wooster College, Mei’s resolution was to try to get her homework done earlier. “It’s so easy to wait until the last minute to tackle a project. In 2020 my goal is to be in bed before 1:30 AM. I think this is a very smart resolution as lack of sleep often leads to poor decision making,” she added in a contemplative, adult manner. Then Mei added, “I also want to call Mom more often.”
Her sister Zoe said she wanted to do more walking. “While I know that walking has tremendous health benefits, for me it is primarily because it helps lower levels of stress.” Ironically, Chopra—the 73-year-old endocrinologist and best-selling author—also recommends it. “Walk some place calm and then sit, for even just a few minutes, so your mind and body can return to balance.”
Three out of eight: A pitiful (but well-intended) score card
Making New Year’s resolution was a topic covered extensively last year on this site so I won’t spend too much time on it here. But I wanted to share my score card with you on how well I did. The less-than-stellar results are in bold.
1. Learn the fundamentals of opera appreciation. Nope, no progress here but I heard there is a great Opera-for-Dummies book I should get.
2. Be more diligent about studying Italian. While I was religious about attending classes, I never did any homework or took the initiative to study grammar. Subsequently, I continue to parlare un italiano maccheronico (meaning very poorly.)
3. Find an eventual home for my collection of female artists. Instead of going through this complicated process, I decided to allow my family and Goddaughters to pick out their favorite painting which they will eventually inherit.
4. Start a yoga regime- No progress here either. Maybe in 2020?
5. Change my colorist- I started going to David, a sexy Israeli who wears an apron covered in skeletons made by his mother. When he overbooked and ran out of seats in his salon one day and asked me to wait outside on a bench—with all my silver foils sprouting out of my head like a porcupine—I determined it was the last visit. I gave him three sessions to get my color correct, too, and he missed the mark each time. So, reluctantly, I am back to Gloria, my original colorist.
6. Succumb to a colonoscopy exam. Accomplished with flying colors.
7. Make $1 million dollars at CancerCare’s 75h Anniversary Gala which I co-chaired. Short of our goal but not by much. There is always another chance for a million in 2020. So, break out your checkbooks, friends.
8. Overcome my fear of yeast and learn to make bread: Bought at auction a baking lesson at Cooking-by-the-book. Can’t wait to try my hand at mastering yeast under the tutelage of Suzy O-Rourke, the school’s owner and master baker.
New tricks for old dogs
To simplify things this year, I am planning to concentrate on completing what I did not do last year. I need to give myself a break. Besides, I was far too ambitious last year. But then, I have always over-planned, over-scheduled, and over-expected things in my life. Maybe I should follow what Meg, a young assistant at String knitting shop, recommended. “I try to be as general as possible, such as be kinder to my body and health, but never too specific. That way, it’s easier to be successful.” Sage advice from a young person which I am strongly tempted to follow. Check in next year to see how it went! Good luck with achieving your own resolutions if indeed you made any for 2020!