Proustian Memories and Mentorship
Proustian Memories and Mentorship
Once a year, I make “Gratin of Four Onions.” It’s my favorite side dish for holiday entertaining. This recipe was given to me over forty years ago by my then boss and mentor, Mary Lyons. Now, whenever I start peeling and chopping shallots, garlic, leeks or onions, my memory is activated. I think of Mary and her invaluable contributions to my early career. I liken my response to Mary’s dish to that of Marcel Proust’s "madeleine" experience about which he wrote that tastes and smells contain in the “tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence reflect the vast structure of recollection.”
Since graduate school I have subscribed whole-heartedly to the Proustian theory. We’ve all had powerful moments of remembering people or events from our past sparked by emotional, olfactory, or gustatory memories. My brain is more often than not triggered by eating a specific food. Food, you see, is my world.
Onions and recollecting lessons from my first mentor
When I make Mary’s dish, I think of the knowledge and experience I gained as her young mentee. In the early 1980s, Mary taught me the public relations profession when I was her assistant at Food and Wine from France (now known as Sopexa). Under her tutelage, I learned how to (hopefully) write coherently, think like a journalist, be 100% honest in all matters, and never over-promise. The concept of mentoring was not as prevalent then as it is today, but that’s the relationship I enjoyed with my boss during the four years I worked by her side.
Being fast-tracked by a second mentor
It was only later when I changed jobs and joined Schieffelin & Co. (a wine and spirits importer now owned by LVMH) that I fully realized the importance of having someone guide your career. Building on what I had learned from Mary, my first sage and trusted mentor, I came under the guidance of a new boss, Margaret Stern. She was forthright with me from the get-go. She had been secretly recruited by Coca-Cola, at the time leading their first foray into the wine world. They needed someone with excellent credentials such as Margaret’s to spearhead their new venture. Margaret had a few months to get her new hire (me) up to speed so that she could leave with a clear conscience.
After making sure I had the basics down on the portfolio we represented, Margaret went about indoctrinating me in the politics of my new company. At that time, Schieffelin & Co. was a privately held firm owned by a blue-blooded, American family, headed by the President, Bill Schieffelin. Like all the other leaders in the wine business at the time, he was a middle-aged, white man. Margaret and I were, in a sense, female pioneers trying to infiltrate a fraternity.
I was a sponge for Margaret’s lessons on how to maneuver in a man’s world. As her protégée, she taught me the essentials needed to work within a corporate structure. Margaret instilled in me the need to be more competent than any male counterpart as a way to build my credibility. She understood this reality, as unfair as it was, and made sure I knew how to effectively use various business tactics to promote our wine brands.
But, even more essential, Margaret coached me on how to appear cool, collected, and unthreatening as a female professional in a somewhat hostile all-male environment. To complicate matters, back in the early 80s, in many industries, women were often limited to secretarial or assistant roles. This was also the prevailing attitude in the wine world when I decided stake claim to my future professional career as an executive.
Margaret took pride in the fact I was a quick learner. She knew that the sooner I was up and running, the quicker she could pursue a position of much greater responsibility with Coca-Cola, and therefore, advance her career. When Margaret left, I took over her role.
Paying it forward as a business owner
After a successful 13-year career at Schieffelin & Co. where I had risen to become Vice President of Public Relations, in 1990, I decided to launch my own agency, Cornerstone Communications. This was a boutique luxury goods and wine-focused communications firm. Given all I had learned at the hands of my two mentors, Mary and Margaret, I felt it was critical as a business owner to pay it forward with my new, younger employees.
My goal was to hire primarily women who aspired to have my job someday. I figured new employees with bold ambition would keep me on my toes. Hopefully, they would also come to work having a balance of assertiveness and a willingness to learn the way I conducted business. Creativity, service, and integrity were the pillars of Cornerstone Communications.
Mutually beneficial advantages
But let’s be frank. As a business owner, I appreciated the many benefits a mentor also derives from having mentees. While not every employee I hired during twenty-five years at the helm of Cornerstone fit the mentorship criteria, fortunately, many did. These individuals rewarded me with dedication, loyalty, and exceptional work. In exchange for our mutual collaboration, they helped grow my business. Although we never talked about the mentoring process per se, they understood I would teach them the ropes and help guide their careers in exchange for their loyalty and good work.
This two-way street suited both boss and employees. While I provided the business foundation, a collegiate environment, and opportunities for growth, my young staffers brought skill sets I lacked, such as technology. They taught me, for example, the benefit of integrating digital marketing into our agency’s marketing strategies. They dazzled clients with social media skills which kept Cornerstone Communications ahead of the competition for several years. In return, I took great pride in their work and encouraged their career growth, sometimes even at the expense of my firm when they left for better-paying opportunities.
Remembering with gratitude lessons from two great women
I hope my mentees think back with the same fondness and gratitude that I experience when I remember Mary and Margaret. I thank Mary for her many enduring lessons as well as for her divinely delicious Gratin of Four Onions recipe which you’ll find in this book. Naturally, I couldn’t resist a little tinkering, but this is essentially the same recipe I inherited from a great lady.
Margaret, on the other hand, was not very interested in cooking. But whenever I enjoy a glass of bubbly, visions of Margaret immediately spring forth. In addition to teaching me how to steer my way through the complicated wine world, she taught me invaluable lessons on how to market as well as enjoy fine champagnes. She introduced me to the world’s leading seller, Moët & Chandon, as well as to my favorite champagne, Dom Ruinart, another Schieffelin brand at the time.
Let’s be honest. No matter what it is that evokes a memory, if you had a choice between a glass of Dom Ruinart Blanc de Blancs champagne or Proust’s madeleine to do the trick, can I safely assume it would be bubbles that trump a cookie?