Men in the Kitchen Part 2

Anthony Giglio: Wine Director for Amex Centurion Lounge Global Network; guest speaker at wine and food festivals; contributing editor to Food & Wine Magazine; host of Virtual Wine Tastings; auctioneer and master storyteller.

1. When did you start taking an interest in cooking?

I grew up in a two-family row house in Jersey City in the early 1970s with my maternal grandparents living in the apartment above ours. We left all the apartment doors open as if it were a one-family (because it was!).  My waking thought most mornings was “What are me and Nanna making for breakfast?” Out of bed and straight up the stairs. My grandmother, Rosa Amatucci Lopardo, was the most unlikely of cooking inspirations because she was, quite frankly, a mediocre cook at best. But she loved to cook, and she inspired me to cook, too.

A child of the Great Depression and the second of eight (surviving of twelve) children, my grandmother was sent to work at a laundromat instead of going to high school. So, she never learned as much as she had hoped to in school, and she never learned to cook.  Her younger sisters, however, were amazing cooks, having learned from their mother, an immigrant from Avellino in Italy’s Campania region, while my grandmother supported them all.

Still, my Nanna cooked every day of her married life, and when she was retired, all day. We’d watch cooking shows together—The Galloping Gourmet and Julia Child—each of us taking turns writing down the ingredients before they faded from the screen.  Then, she’d convert all the expensive ingredients into her Depression-era go-tos: Olive oil became corn oil. Chicken stock? Water is fine with a little salt. Filet mignon? Chuck steak and a meat hammer will make it just as tender! We slathered her umami-packed, simmered-into-my-DNA tomato sauce on top of those chuck steaks, along with a heavy hit of dried oregano, as it went under the broiler to make bistecca alla pizzaiola.

On Fridays we used that same sauce to top polenta, which Nanna cooked with cannellini beans. She’d whack a scoop of polenta onto each plate, then spread it out with the heel of the ladle to make an even layer. Over each plate she’d pour a scoop of sauce and then a generous sprinkling of Parmesan cheese. As the polenta cooled and firmed, it became something like a soft pizza. But, the pizza of my dreams remains her pizza fritta, a Neapolitan treat made with dough that we’d make together and set to rise on her kitchen radiator, then form into palm-sized patties and fry, before topping with sauce, mozzarella, olive oil and then bake.

My mom still makes them today as a special treat for my own kids—and me. While my grandmother was relentlessly thrifty, she paid for all five of her grandchildren to go to school straight through college—to get the education she was denied. What she taught me is what they don’t teach in school, and I cherished every moment with her. I consider myself so fortunate to have had her in my life into my 40s, and that my wife and children knew her, too.

2. What is your favorite thing(s) to cook?

My heritage is Italian through all eight immigrant great-grandparents, so Southern Italian cookery is wired into my DNA. To really learn how to cook, however, I immersed myself in Marcella Hazan’s cookbooks, inside out, experimenting for years when I was in my 20s. Her Risotti, Bolognese Sauce, Clam Sauce, Carbonara and Poached Shrimp in Salmoriglio are among my all-time favorite dishes to cook, over and over again.

3. Do you share cooking responsibilities with your spouse?

Not really. I’m the cook at home and I organize and run the kitchen and pantry. My wife is the baker. However, since the quarantine, my wife and I have begun cooking together, easily, happily and with great rhythm—after 20 years of complete separation of roles. Of course, we laugh and say, “It took a pandemic.”

4. Is cooking a hobby for you? What motivates you to cook?

Nope. I think I say it pretty much above. Not a hobby. A passion. I might have been a professional chef had I not been discouraged when I was young (listen to my story on The Moth:  "Listen Here, Fancy Pants!").

5.  In your opinion, what differentiates the way men cook versus the way women cook?

I can only speak from my own house. I don’t measure. My wife measures. I don’t mise en place as much as keep everything moving in a very organized way. My wife preps a day ahead—a thousand bowls, cups, measuring spoons, cellophanes all the dried ingredients while I look on in astonishment. In contrast, I clean throughout the cooking process, so that I don’t have to face a mess after the meal is cooked and eaten. 

Bill Arp: retired senior producer at ABC News; fervent international traveler; jazz aficionado; and golfing enthusiast.

1.When did you start taking an interest in cooking?

I have been interested in cooking since I was a child. My mother, grandmother, and assorted aunts and uncles all helped in the large holiday family meals.  I was familiar, at an early age, with knife skills, baking, butchering chickens, cleaning fish and of course, cleaning, washing and general KP.  I have also picked up unusual techniques from my years living abroad.  Imagine, it's the late 50s and someone invites you over for a ramen, gyoza and sukiyaki dinner.  Most of those things you would not have heard about unless you lived in Japan for a spell. My classmates were thrilled at every new adventure. 

My cooking took a serious turn when my first wife, Leslie Revsin, decided to go to NY Tech to learn how to be a restaurant chef.  We cooked, experimented, destroyed, and accomplished many fine meals and then Leslie went out on her own...and we ended our relationship. That was some 50 years ago, and I have been cooking for myself and friends ever since.

2. What is your favorite thing(s) to cook?

I don't think I have a favorite dish but I do enjoy different ethnic cuisines.  Leslie and I cooked our way through Julia Child—and I mean all the way through.  I then turned to Marcella Hazen and found Italian food more fun than French and then mixed in a couple of exotic cuisines—Indian, Japanese. Korean, etc. I would say my favorites are savory dishes.  Roasts, sautés, stews, veggies...anything that takes a little time to develop flavors.

3. Do you share cooking responsibilities with your spouse?

My wife Lila and I share our home cooking.  Roughly 50/50 but with different chores.  Lila is more likely to say "I'm going make a lemon tart or a pound cake." I'm more likely to say, “How about Veal Parma or Steak Diane?” or something like that.

4.   Is cooking a hobby for you? What motivates you to cook?

I love to eat good tasting things, therefore, I try to make as many tasty things as possible.  I can't imagine not cooking at home, even though I love to go out to eat.  It's much more than a hobby...it's a way of life.

Roman Roth: German-born Head Winemaker and partner of Hampton’s acclaimed vineyard, Wolffer Estate; creative force behind his own brand, Grapes of Roth; and talented singer/yodeler.

1.   When did you start taking an interest in cooking?

I started helping to bake every Saturday from the time I was six or seven. By ten or eleven I would bake the cake myself every weekend. These were simple cakes such as Marble cake, Pound cake, etc.

I was fortunate to have a mother who was a fantastic cook. She would make all the classic German dishes but in a refined way. She also did many unusual dishes like Eel, whole Carp, whole Pike, (my father was a happy fisherman!) My mother loved equally going out to expensive restaurants so at a very young age I was exposed to the best restaurant is Southern Germany.

2.  What is your favorite thing(s) to cook?

I love to show off my homemade Spätzle (Swabian egg noodles), Mushroom Ragout with fresh pasta or Spätzle, and Zucchini Pappardelle with Chorizo sausage.

3.  Do you share cooking responsibilities with your spouse?

Yes:  My wife Dushy finds cool recipes and I execute them.  Dushy—a physician who is from Australia—makes the curries and Thai dinners and I stick to the rest, meaning German, Italian and French. Our daughter Indira makes the pancakes, smoothies, and guacamole.

4. Is cooking a hobby for you? What motivates you to cook?

Cooking is my relaxation and my way of saying I love you and I want to take care of you. If it were not for the fact that chefs must work every weekend and every time someone else is partying or celebrating, I would have become a chef.  Luckily, I became a winemaker!!! So now I love to cook and feature my food-friendly wines.  And, at the winery, we have a great series called “Grilling with Roman” which puts my skills to the test on a bigger stage.

5.  In your opinion, what differentiates the way men cook versus the way women cook?

Every person is different but if I had to generalize, I think women work tidier in the kitchen and keep the flavors more subtle. Men multitask better and are willing to take bigger risks in attacking recipes (bolder flavor, change ingredients, hotter.) 

Lars Leicht: former newspaperman turned seasoned wine marketer; educator; and communicator with a highly respected Italian wine expertise.

1.  When did you start taking an interest in cooking? 

My mother and maternal grandmother were phenomenal cooks. “They could cook up an old shoe and have you licking your fingers,” the saying goes. But I never really “took to the burners” myself until I moved out. I remember as a kid trying to get homework done while these wonderful aromas were wafting into my room. “Mom, what are you cooking?” I yelled down. Turns out it was “just” the start of the sauce, some oregano or basil and garlic in olive oil, but it always appealed to me.

When I packed up to go away to college, my mother handed me a baby food jar of ‘pesto’ – garlic, olive oil and basil ground together, and told me to use it “as the starter for my sauces.” I found that odd because I never had cooked a sauce on my own before and was moving into a dorm which at best,  had a communal kitchen downstairs, so I didn’t know if it would get put to use at all. One weekend my buddies and I decided to cook a Sunday Sauce using that base in the dorm’s common area. Well, there was a yoga class full of lovely young ladies on the other side of the rec room, and needless to say the aroma of the ‘base’ starter had the same impact on them as it did on the younger version of me.

Single young Lars started making sauce more often, and I’m sure you can figure out why. After college and living on my own, I bonded with many friends who enjoyed cooking as much as I did; traveling to Italy for leisure and work in the wine business amplified that another volume. In my profession I am surrounded by people who love to cook or at least dine well and appreciate good cooking; home cooking is always a welcome treat.

2.  What is your favorite thing(s) to cook?

I’m Italo-centric, thanks to my Mom, although my kids have gotten me to branch out into different things. But, I have to say my specialty is those “once in a lifetime meals,” when you combine some leftovers with whatever is in the cupboard to make a mélange meal of unique and delicious flavors. It works amazingly about 90% of the time, the other 10% is just good enough for survival. My mother’s philosophy of leftovers was to have just enough to “break an egg in it,” especially something like broccoli, sausage and peppers, or meatballs. It even works for pasta. I also like to take leftover meat and do a “stir fry” with some onion and rice.

3. Do you share cooking responsibilities with your spouse? 

The words ‘share’ and ‘spouse’ have a funny relationship. Both Karen (his fiancée) and I are Leos, so that tends to mean that when she cooks I step away, and when I cook I have to keep ‘reminding’ her to step away. But it’s not always one or the other; on grilling nights, I’ll take care of the meat and potatoes outside, and she’ll make the vegetables, salad and/or any other sides inside. Makes for a more peaceful collaboration.

4.  Is cooking a hobby for you? What motivates you to cook? 

It’s 80% hobby, 20% necessity. Karen tends to cook more often but she is also away for weeks at a time when I have to make dinner for myself or whichever of our two boys are home. On weekends I like to make slightly more elaborate, traditional dishes… because I can and find it therapeutic.

5.  In your opinion, what differentiates the way men cook versus the way women cook?

 Well that’s a loaded question! I can only speak for me and Karen, to be safe. I tend to be a little more experimental, where she is more likely to be dogmatic about most recipes. I think the root of the question implies “men” as the ones who traditionally cook less often, and “women” as the ones who are the regular nourisher-providers, though these days those roles are not limited to gender as much as they might have once been. So, who makes dinner every night is likely to stick to routine, while the “occasional” cook is more likely to experiment a bit.

Check out Lars’ recipe for Zuppa di Farro in the “Dessert” section of www.TarteTatinTales.com.

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After reading the eight vignettes from “Men in the Kitchen”—including this and last week’s post—it is hard to draw many valid conclusions. There are, however, a few exceptions. The one thing everyone agreed upon was captured in John Frazee’s succinct observation: “The way we take up our cooking roles reflects our families and the cultures in which we grew up.”

For example, over the past ten years I’ve observed Anthony Giglio turn the  “norm” on its head. As the father of a duel income family, Anthony is also the primary cook at home. His son Marco was raised with Dad behind the stove thinking that this was the way it is supposed to be. As soon as Marco was old enough to stand on the stool in the kitchen, he was there—like my late husband Ed with his mother Elsie—assisting Anthony with dinner preparations. It stands to reason that this early training will carry over into Marco’s adult life. Even now as a fifteen-year-old, I  imagine it won’t take long before it becomes the most normal thing in the world for Marco to wipe up a delicious meal using recipes and techniques learned at the hand of his father. However, if Marco needs some advice on baking a Torta della Nonna (Grandmother’s cake),  that’s his mother’s turf! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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